threeisapattern | maybe the real supernatural magnet was Stiles all along

maybe the real supernatural magnet was Stiles all along

The thing about kanimas is that they're supposed to be super-rare, maybe one-in-a-generation. Most people, if they get the werewolf bite and their body rejects it, they die. It takes a special kind of mental unwellness to turn into a kanima instead. And Stiles has already been there, done that when Jackson transformed into one back in Beacon Hills.

So someone explain to him why he's staring one down in the middle of an otherwise deserted park. (So he was practicing some soccer drills on his own and it got late. So sue him if he kind of doesn't want to suck when he has a cute guy and the cute guy's family in addition to his dad vowing to watch him play.) For a second, he genuinely wonders if this is some kind of waking nightmare, and he glances down to count his fingers as a check (ten, no more and no less). In that time, it gets in way too close, and Stiles straight-out sprints for his bag to grab his phone and the little vial of emergency mountain ash he keeps with him at all times.

He has Billy's number dialed and his thumb on the top of the vial to flick it open when he feels a slash against his back, meaning he has a few seconds before his body stops responding. He hits the call button and throws the opened vial in the air as his muscles go slack and he drops to the ground. He doesn't think anything breaks, but he lands on his shoulder painfully hard and that's something he's going to have to deal with if he survives the next few minutes. Through some miracle of luck, desperation, and probably magic, the ash lands in an unbroken circle around his body, and he squeezes his eyes shut and believes with all of his might that a handful of wood ash has the power to protect him from the supernatural.

It works. The kanima hisses as it slashes at the barrier a couple times, and as Stiles watches it, he realizes that there's a voice trying to talk to him from his phone. It landed about a foot from his head and he must've managed to hit speaker before he dropped it, thank god, because there's absolutely no way he could pick it up right now.

"Hey, Billy? I really need your help right now, like - SOS."

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“I think it’s… in my head?”

It didn’t not follow him around before. Kind of. He remembers sitting on the Nemeton with the Nogitsune, when he heard Scott’s roar snapping him out of his own head. There was a connection made when he, Scott, and Allison sacrificed themselves to it to find their parents. Maybe it’s still there.

He sighs as he gives up trying to sidestep it, seeing as how it’s not working so well. “Like, it might - actually have a connection in my mind.”

The look on Stiles face whenever he talks about his history makes Billy want to figure out time travel just so that he can stop any of that from happening. He'd risk permanently changing the past forever if it meant making his guy smile. He probably needs to dig deeper into what that means for him. For right now he tugs on Stiles hand slightly.

"I could try to blast it but I'm not sure what that would do to your mind. Is there something else it could want?"

“Yeah, that’s definitely a bad idea. It’s not evil or anything, just - “

He ends up sitting down on it, because if they’re not moving past it then he might as well rest his metaphorical body. “I guess it could want power or worship or something. If it wants another sacrifice then it’s out of luck, because I’m not fucking doing that again.”

Again.

Good thing Stiles told him not to blast it, because now he kind of wants to. He watches Stiles sit on it, but keeps his own distance. As much as he wants to be near Stiles, he wants to be prepared if this is a trap.

"Why can't we just have a fun and easy trial? Why is it always something awful?" He's mostly talking to himself. This isn't the road. And this isn't a trial. Even if it is getting a little harder to remind himself of that. At least there doesn't seem to be a countdown.

"Do you think a gift would appease it? I can try to conjure up something."

“If you can think of something a tree would want, be my guest.”

It’s probably for the best that Billy keep some distance, given that he’s basically a powerhouse. Not that the Nemeton’s ever taken anything it wasn’t offered, but still.

"Is water too obvious?"

He could also see if the darn thing wants some Miracle Grow but most living things need water and it's not like there is an abundance of it in this weird mind space.

“It couldn’t hurt.”

The tree doesn’t exactly have dirt in this weird mind place, either, but maybe it’s the thought that counts. Literally, in this case.

He closes his eyes again, even though he really doesn't need to, it's kind of just become a habit at this point, and thinks about water. Wait, why do his feet feel wet?

When he opens his eyes, he's standing in a pool of water up to his ankles, thankfully at least the tree is also in it. He was trying to think of more of a bucket, but this works too.

"Any change?" Aside from his soggy shoes.

He shrugs before standing up, trying to avoid the water puddle. “Let’s try walking away again and see if it still follows us.”

He grabs Billy’s hand. “Maybe you should distract me, too. So I’m not thinking about it.”

Right, distracting Stiles since the tree is in his mind. Why did he think of water before thinking of that?

"This probably isn't the best time to talk about labels, but I don't know what could be more intimate than sharing a mind twice...do you want to be my boyfriend?"

There's not really a less cringey way to make that come out but somehow he is still embarrassed. "Ugh, I sound so lame, and this isn't the ideal romantic spot, but I really like spending time with you...I like you, a lot."

Luckily for Billy, Stiles is less focused on that question sounding as smooth as possible vs the question being asked and also, Billy looks very cute asking it. He puts a stop to any further rambling by tugging Billy forward for a kiss, then smirks. “Yeah, I want to be your boyfriend. But we’re not coming here again for dates.”

"It hasn't been all bad."

The imminent danger notwithstanding, this is the second time he has ended up in Stiles arms so he can't find it in himself to be too mad about it. If anything, he looks far too happy right now.

"But I wouldn't mind something a little more normal next time. A movie, dinner, hanging out at your house since your dad is never home..." He smirks slightly after the last one.

"Yeah." Okay, he knows Billy just means that they'd probably have privacy, but it does sting a little to be reminded that his dad spends so much time working, and it's basically impossible to hide that given that they're literally sharing minds right now. So - obviously, the only thing to do is move on and start walking again, because at least the Nemeton isn't in their way anymore.

The sting of sadness is not what he was expecting to feel after his suggestion, and even if he knows it isn't about him, it's hard to not feel a tad bit rejected. If Stiles wants to move on, then they will move on.

He's probably supposed to be thinking about the kanima, that's the whole point of this, but he's distracted. He can't tell if it's still Stiles sadness and loneliness or if they have just brought out his own, but he is entirely not surprised when a pair of shoes shoes up along their walk. Alice's shoes in particular, poised the way they were on the road, never collected, still waiting for her. He ignores them.

"How is the kanima even hiding so well? It's not like there is anything to go behind."

He still has Billy's hand in his, so he squeezes it when he feels an echo of what Billy's feeling. Being in each other's head is - not simple, definitely, especially given that they both of have plenty of issues to work through.

(The shoes are kind of a surprise, but if Billy doesn't want to talk about it - and he clearly doesn't - Stiles won't force anything.)

"I don't know the rules or anything, but I guess if you didn't want to be found, this is probably a pretty good place to hide. If all three of us are kind of contributing to this place, then he can probably make it really hard to find him."

It's helpful that Stiles is so understanding, or else this would be a hell of a lot worse. He appreciates that Stiles is letting him ignore his own contributions to this space, he's not sure he could deal with that on top of everything else. When they pass by Lilia's shoes, he holds Stiles hand a little tighter.

"If he is also influencing the space, shouldn't we start to see pieces of his mind? I doubt he's that good at holding back."

“Maybe our heads are too full.”

If that makes sense? They both have plenty of shit on their minds. “I’m really bad at anything like meditation, though. It’s the ADHD.”

That does make sense. He and Stiles are so caught up in what they have going on, it is getting in the way of this other kid. He actually kind of feels bad that they are forcing him to deal with all of this, who knows what he has discovered while he's been here.

"If distraction didn't work, and meditation is out...I don't mind being here with you, but I really don't want to be stuck here forever."

So far they haven't encountered anything too horrible, but he knows enough about Stiles past, and his own, to know they are just scraping the surface. He's not sure he's ready to dive deeper.

“We just try to focus on finding him again, I guess?”

Too bad they don’t have Scott here to do his alpha werewolf howl and force the guy out of hiding. Meanwhile, Stiles will attempt to clear his head of anything but the current goal as best he can, given that this basically goes against everything his brain is usually determined to do.

(If the echo of pain from his shoulder gets a bit stronger while he’s working on that, then - that would be no one’s business but his own if he wasn’t in a shared mind scape.)

"Right, okay."

Clearing his mind is easier said than done, he is trying but he keeps getting distracted. By Stiles' pain, by the thought of his traumas showing up again, by the fact that this is all within his control but somehow he's messing it up. When it comes to his powers, it feels like all he does is mess up.

He's vocalized some of his feelings of inadequacy before. What he hasn't talked about is the overwhelming amount of fear lurking beneath that inadequacy. Fear that every time he messes up, he may end up losing another person. Fear that even with powers, he won't be able to save the people he cares about.

It's not until Agatha's shoes show up that he stops, dropping Stiles hand so that he can cover his eyes instead, pressing into them until he can see stars.

"Sorry, I know it's me this time. I can make this go away, I just need a minute."

Okay, so obviously the better long-term solution for this is talking it out, but Stiles doesn't really want to have an impromptu therapy session in their minds for - a lot of reasons, honestly, not the least of which is that their bodies are probably still pretty vulnerable in the real world while they're at this. He can feel Billy's anxiety heightening by the second, so he opts for the extremely valid de-escalation method of distracting his boyfriend with his mouth.

It's not like Stiles doesn't have experience kissing as a distraction from the fucked-up situation you're in. Plus, they're officially boyfriends now, which means he probably has Boyfriend Rights(TM) or something to initiate plan Make Out With Billy Til He's Less Freaked Out.

It takes a minute for Billy's mind to catch up with what is happening. If he was able to think harder about it, he'd probably realize that's kind of the point of this tactic. To completely change the direction of Billy's thoughts.

When he does finally catch on, he kisses Stiles back probably a bit too enthusiastically, his hands reaching up to cling tightly to his shirt, still caught up in the emotions of losing him, of failing him. It takes a minute but he does start to calm down, his kisses becoming more gentle as his anxiety dissipates.

And Stiles says he doesn't have any magical powers.

Once he feels better, he stays there for a moment longer, putting his head down to rest against Stiles' shoulder, lingering in the comfort of his boyfriend's (boyfriend!) embrace.

Stiles would like to explore this again in more depth when it’s not a distraction tactic, but also, it’s a pretty nice distraction tactic. He’s more than willing to keep it going as long as Billy needs, and afterwards, he holds on tight for a while as the background stress he was feeling from Billy dissipates.

“Better?”

"Better."

It probably goes without saying that he feels better, considering Stiles is in his head, but he gives confirmation anyway, finally stepping away. When he looks back in front of them, the shoes he saw before are gone.

He takes Stiles' hand again as they start walking.

"Do you think he's going to remember any of this? The kanima. When he's human again."

Billy doesn't really hide who he is, well, not his orientation anyway, but there have been a lot of secrets coming up in their time in this space. He's not sure he would want all of that getting out.

“Probably not.”

He’s not quite as confident as he sounds about it, but it’s not like Jackson ever got his memories of being the kanima back. And if they’re going to worry about it, they should probably wait til the act of worrying is less likely to put any more obstacles in their path.

Speaking of? He’s pretty sure he sees the kanima in the distance now. “Oh, thank god.”

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